A Modest Proposal:

Today's coral reefs face extinction on a global scale.  The danger is immediate, catastrophic and thoroughly understood.  Ecologists have no doubt whatsoever that the greatest threat to today's tropical coral ecosystems stems from the direct physical destruction of the reef itself.  It occurs with such alarming frequency that scientists have little trouble documenting the cause.  Frustrating the efforts of environmentalists is the fact that while the culprits are known, virtually nothing is being done to halt the destruction.   What makes matters even more frustrating, however, is that the solution is so obvious.

Kill the parrotfish.  Kill them all.   Parrotfish are voracious coral predators and deserve to die.  Why ecologists have failed to grasp such an obvious solution defies logical understanding.  In fact, parrotfish derive their name from the beak-like mouth with which they reduce living coral to fine sand.  All too often I have had the misfortune of swimming directly behind the vicious predator when it excreted a noxious cloud of sand directly into my path.   Such effluvial displays of wanton coral destruction create sleepless nights for concerned environmentalist like myself.

Often, when I address environmental action groups with my proposal, I am met with stunned disbelief.  I am not insensitive to their horror, and can understand their concern.  Killing every parrotfish in the world seems like an daunting task.  But the threat to ecological harmony is so great that  I feel that we must make the effort.  I see no other  viable solution. Fortunately, where well-meaning ecologists have failed, scuba divers can succeed.

Parrotfish are as stupid as they are colorful.  This makes them easy  

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