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FINS:
Tip 1:  Fins should stiff, yet flexible.  Quality name-brand fins are best.  Avoid cheap,
            Taiwanese cardboard knockoffs.
Tip 2:  Never use a staple gun to attach loose fins.
Tip 3:  Never buy fins guaranteed:  "Safe for all your microwave needs"

Maintenance:   Remove rusty staples and rinse in fresh water.  Dry in microwave


REGULATORS:
Tip 1:  For maximum performance, attach to tank
Tip 2:  Be suspicious of any regulator that carries the warning label: "Avoid contact with
             water"
Tip 3:  Never buy a regulator that comes with a cigarette attachment
Tip 4:  Have the regulator serviced by professionals. Avoid places like "Bubba's
            Salvage and Appliance Emporium"
Tip 5:  Never purchase a regulator that has carburetor attached to it, especially if it's been
            serviced by Bubba's Salvage and Appliance Emporium
           

Maintenance:   Remove non-essential automobile parts and rinse in warm, fresh water

SCUBA TANKS:
Tip 1:  Never rent a tank from a clown holding a dozen helium balloons
Tip 2:  Never fill a tank at a gas station
Tip 3:  Never buy a tank covered with muffler tape
Tip 4:  Never buy a tank equipped with a detonator button
Tip 5:  Check VIP dates carefully.  Avoid dates with Roman numeral, or years ending in B.C.

Maintenance:   Inspect exterior thoroughly for signs of corrosion.  Remove muffler tape if necessary

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