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FINS:
Tip 1: Fins should stiff, yet
flexible. Quality name-brand fins are best. Avoid
cheap,
Taiwanese cardboard knockoffs.
Tip 2: Never use a staple gun to
attach loose fins.
Tip 3: Never buy fins guaranteed: "Safe for all
your microwave needs"
Maintenance:
Remove rusty staples and rinse in fresh water. Dry in
microwave
REGULATORS:
Tip 1: For maximum performance,
attach to tank
Tip 2: Be suspicious of any
regulator that carries the warning label: "Avoid contact with
water"
Tip 3: Never buy a regulator that
comes with a cigarette attachment
Tip 4: Have the regulator
serviced by professionals. Avoid places like "Bubba's
Salvage and
Appliance Emporium"
Tip 5: Never purchase a regulator
that has carburetor attached to it, especially if it's been
serviced
by Bubba's Salvage and Appliance Emporium
Maintenance:
Remove
non-essential automobile parts and rinse in warm, fresh water
SCUBA TANKS:
Tip 1: Never rent a tank from a clown holding
a dozen helium balloons
Tip 2: Never fill a tank at a gas station
Tip 3: Never buy a tank covered with muffler
tape
Tip 4: Never buy a tank equipped with a
detonator button
Tip 5: Check VIP dates carefully. Avoid
dates with Roman numeral, or years ending in B.C.
Maintenance:
Inspect exterior
thoroughly for signs of corrosion. Remove muffler tape if necessary
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