|
|
|
| |
|
My
favorites... |
| |
"It
is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools
are so ingenious"
...Roger Berg |
| |
| "All
imaginable inventions have already been invented" |
| ...Manager
of American Patent Agency, 1899 |
| |
| "Gravitation
cannot be held responsible for people falling in
love" |
| ...Albert
Einstein |
| |
"Painting:
The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and
exposing them to the critic" ...Ambrose Bierce
|
|
"We
are sorry to announce that Mr Albert Brown has been
quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a
short holiday to recover."....Parish Magazine
|
| |
|
"Be
sure and put some of those neutrons on it." |
| ...Mike
Smith, baseball pitcher ordering a salad at a
restaurant |
| |
| "The
word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A
genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." |
| ...Joe
Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst |
| |
| "Fiction
writing is great. You can make up almost anything." |
| ...Ivana
Trump, upon finishing her first novel |
| |
|
"If
you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your
life." ...Brooke Shields
|
| |
 |
|
| |
"Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains
small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory,
the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer each, and
observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked
excessively without making any sense, became emotional,
and couldn't drive. No further testing is planned."
|
 |
My
psychiatrist told me I was crazy. "Do you mind if I
get a second opinion?" I asked. "Not at
all," he replied, "you're ugly as
well."...Rodney Dangerfield |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Darwin
Awards |
|
|
|
|
| True
Headlines |
 |
|
|
| Jokes |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Work
Humor
|
|
|
|
|
|
For
Divers
|
|
|
|
|
|
Actual
Resumes |
|
|
|
|
|
|
