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Sarcastic
remarks to get you through the day:
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1. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
2. It ain't the size, it's...no, it's the size.
3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
4. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
6. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
7. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
8. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll
put shoes on my
cats.
9. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
10. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?
11. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
12. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
13. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
14. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
15. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception
problem.
16. Excuse me, I have to recharge my flamethrower.
17. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
18. I'd explain it to you but your brain would explode.
19. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
20. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
21. I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should
I leave
the house?
22. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
23. A woman's favorite position is CEO.
24. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
25. How do I set this laser printer to stun?
26. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your
day.
Tomorrow isn't looking good
either.
27. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound
they make
as they go flying by.
28. There are two rules for ultimate success in life: 1.
Never tell
everything you know. |
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Awards |
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| True
Headlines |
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| Jokes |
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Work
Humor
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For
Divers
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Actual
Resumes |
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